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Woody Allen QuotesA - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I -K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - X - Y - Z
" Basically
my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and
sink my boats."
" Bisexuality
immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
" Don't
knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love."
"Eternal
nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."
" I am
at two with nature."
" I don't
think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib."
"I don't
want to achieve immortality through my work. . .I want to achieve it
through not dying. "
"I took
a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It
involves Russia."
" I was
thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked
into the soul of the boy next to me. "
" If only
God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my
name at a Swiss bank. "
"Interestingly,
according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting
thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they
have left things."
" Is sex
dirty? Only if it's done right."
" It was
the most fun I ever had without laughing."
"It's
not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
"
" Love
is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises
some pretty good questions."
"Money
is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
"More
than any other time in history, mankind faces a cross-roads. One path
leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction.
Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."
"Side
Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend.
Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."
"Sex between
2 people is a beautiful thing; between 5 it's fantastic ... "
Woody Allen
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